On being mad at Chris and her decision to give the relationship another try
I wanted him to know what it felt like to lose me. To feel the consequences of that. But I got real with myself, and I just couldn’t bury the way I felt.
I decided it was more important for me to be happy, and I wasn’t going to let anybody’s opinion get in the way of that. Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake. After being tormented for so many years, being angry and dark, I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash. I can handle it.
On not being able to talk to anyone about Chris, not even her best friend
I just felt like, why bother? Nobody else is going through it. Nobody would understand.
On how they’ve grown to value each other more
When you add up the pieces from the outside, it’s not the cutest puzzle in the world. You see us walking somewhere, driving somewhere, in the studio, in the club, and you think you know. But it’s different now. We don’t have those types of arguments anymore. We talk about (stuff). We value each other. We know exactly what we have now, and we don’t want to lose that.
On what she loves about him
For a long time he was really angry, and he felt like he couldn’t get away from it, no matter what he did. But there’s so many reasons why I ever reconsidered having him in my life. He’s not the monster everybody thinks. He’s a good person. He has a fantastic heart. He’s giving and loving. And he’s fun to be around. That’s what I love about him – he always makes me laugh. All I want to do is laugh, really – and I do that with him.
On if he’s changed
Of course everybody has their opinion about him, because of what he’s done. That will always be there. But he made a mistake, and he’s paid his dues. He’s paid so much. And I know that’s not a place he would ever want to go back to. And sometimes people need support and encouragement, instead of ridicule and criticism and bashing.
On if she’s trying to rehabilitate him
Wait. You think I’m here to rehabilitate Chris? No, no, no. That is not my purpose. Trust me. I could have done that from the jump if I thought that was my job. My job was to take care of myself – and I did. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think Chris was ready.
And trust me – it makes me feel great to know that people care. I guess it’s just something that will show with time. There’s nothing I could say that would convince you right now. But we’re in a great place. And I can’t ever see us going back.
On if he messes up again
Listen, I’ll tell you right now: I don’t have to take it. If he gives me that again, here’s what I give him: nothing. I just walk away. He doesn’t have that luxury of (expletive) up again. That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”
On her love being a sign of weakness
I could never identify with that word, ‘weak.’ I couldn’t have come out of this if I was weak. No way.”